Earth Log

And so, here I am again, in the Void
And this time it doesn’t feel so friendly, so comfortable.
Betwixt and between not knowing and knowing
Nothing and everything
On this merry  dance to Oneness and surrender.

Some days in colourful, blissful states of Being-ness unconcerned about the future or how my work will evolve

And other days, like today, where the sulken finger of failure points at me and pokes me until I feel a frustration in the pit of my stomach, until I feel squeezed beyond tight and when my Soul magnifies this feeling of failure and frustration by showing me others, some known to me and some unknown who are “making their way in the world” where their offer is getting clearer and in the outer world, at least, there is a recognisable shape and form equalling “success” shining back.

Brighter and louder screams the voice
in my body and in my head,
“I want to KNOW”

And a steady voice queries;
Why do you want to KNOW and what do you want to KNOW?

“I want to know how to re-build my life. I want to have a sense of purpose again. I want to be in control once more.”

And the steady voice replied;
“Ah, control. But you surrendered Moriah, remember?
You surrendered to the FLOW.
Let this be your Goal, your Purpose, your Reason for Being.
Lose yourself, immerse yourself into the Flow of Life and worry not about control, for there can be no flow where there is control.
Control constricts and restricts the Flow and the two can never be happy playmates.
Focus on where your interest and curiosity takes you.
Release the pressure valves that you put on yourself, your creativity and allow yourself to follow that which draws you in.
Be honest with yourself and others.
Authenticity is a True Playmate of Flow.
As are feelings that are “allowed” and given space and time to be felt, acknowledged and honoured.
As is laughter.
As is rest.
And nature.
Take away the labels, the boundaries and the heavy expectations you put upon your creativity and immerse yourself.
It’s like learning a language. Full immersion feels uncomfortable at first and then at some imperceptible point in time – the miracle happens – and you are fluent – and your flow within that language magnifies and flourishes.

Immerse yourself like a thirsty fish into the unknown realms of your creative potential and allow it shape itself within you and through you. You cannot dance like a dervish around the edges simply whetting your thirst by drops alone. Dive in and feel the depth, chill and pulse of the water. Let it nourish you, rehydrate and energise you. Lose yourself in the water and you will be re-born, afresh, renewed and glowing with life. For all life is creative. And all life is dying to be felt with such deep and true intimacy. Immerse. Immerse. Immerse.”

and so with those wise words ringing in my head, I’m off to play with my camera and the photos I already have and to see how my poems, photos and words might find a home together

 Earth Log

15th February 2011

The Sound of Silence

While you are reading this, find a space where you can be undisturbed and silent. It’s a time to be undisturbed, silent, present and still. Very still. Ahhh.

That’s better.

So, check around you now for anything that might affect the quality of your stillness.

Are you comfortable? Are you the right temperature? Would you prefer more light, less light? What can you hear? Any low level noise that needs attention?

Now, are you ready for an experience of stillness and silence?

Then, let us begin.

Settle into your space now, relaxing all of your body, allowing your mind to go blank.

Sshh! Can you hear that? Are you listening?

Silence. Pure silence. A quality that is pure, uncluttered, empty yet full, deep and expansive, all encompassing, texture of silk, tingling.

Ask a musician to describe silence and they will give a description of silence that is really quite different to the untrained ear. They hear layers, notes, silent spaces within the silence, depth, sound, echoes,

What can you hear within silence?

How does silence impact you?

How do you feel when you move into silence?

How much silence do you have in your everyday life?

Making a commitment to have Silent Space within each day.

Silence is a Bridge to the Divine

The seen and the unseen meet together in silence

Silence is beauty untold

Discover the Silent Advantage – create some silence in your everyday life and watch your life change in many and positive ways.

Earth Log

Flexing your Stillness Muscle

Stillness, it seems, is a little like a muscle. You have to keep flexing it and toning it. Use it or lose it.

Stillness is a lost art. It is not something that the modern world values- well not yet any way. I have a feeling that stillness will make a comeback and I intend to be instigating this comeback in whatever way I can.

In part, it’s a re-balancing and harmonising of the feminine (stillness) with the masculine (busy-ness). A little more stillness creates a lot more clarity and focus which means when we move into busy-ness our energy is targeted wisely and efficiently. Less scatter and more precision.  

The Stillness Muscle needs to be flexed to get the cumulative effect of the benefits of being still. It’s a little like going to the gym or going for a run every few weeks. Creating and immersing ourselves in stillness on an ad-hoc, irregular basis is going to produce some result but nowhere near the kind of rich, nurturing, restful and creative experiences that we could be engaging with.

Engaging with Stillness produces focused, quality results

And this is about engagement. Bringing ourselves to Stillness each day, even if only for a short time will begin to reap rewards in just 1 week. Really. It works. I’m talking positive stillness. No distractions. Focused stillness. Sitting on a train, eyes wide open really doesn’t cut it. Sitting on a train, with good posture, eyes closed, focusing on our Center Point scores big results and correspondingly big benefits. This is focused, quality stillness. And this produces focused, quality results.

Little and often is good. Just like any exercise.

Keep engaging – staying in touch with stillness enables your conscious mind to know that stillness is worth spending time on and in and that it’s a regular thing for you. It gets to know the benefits and wants more. After a while, you will miss stillness, your body may long for it. Mine did when I had a break of 4 days without time spent in stillness. And then something changed and I felt sad about it.

Your Stillness Muscle- Use it or lose it!

I had left it so long to go back into stillness that my body had forgotten just how gorgeous an experience it is – luxuriating in space and time. I did feel sad that I had allowed my Stillness Practice to lapse. The more the days went on, I actually forgot to make the time and although I remembered the benefits and the joy that stillness would bring me if I were to do it, I didn’t actually bring myself to my stillness space and engage with the stillness. I allowed myself to collude with the busy-ness of my day – working with clients, being a mum and all the other ways I spend my time. Still, I was observing my resistance and I was sad and curious about it at the same time.

Instead, I began to write about stillness. It seemed the easiest way to engage with it again somehow. I have learned from my days of going to the gym/ not going to the gym, practising yoga/not practising yoga that all I have to do is engage. Or rather, re-engage. I do know that once I re-engage, I find it easier to get back into it again.

No engagement = no benefit, no incentive, no connection.

This goes for any creative pursuit, anything which would bring us into a greater state of coherence within ourselves and our life. My theory is that this happens because we were programmed for non-coherence. Our mission has been to stay as non-coherent as we possibly could. In that way, we could stay dis-connected from ourselves, our creativity and from others. We therefore stayed in the illusion of separation rather than lift the veils and see the reality that is masked by the programming.

And ultimately it is about connection. Stillness brings me into a deeper awareness with myself, it strengthens my sense of who I Am, brings me deeper and deeper into unity with who I really am at the core of my Being.

We resist being who we truly are at the very core of our Being

So, why then would I resist this? Because we all resist this. We all resist being who we truly are – even those who are close to personal mastery still work at moving through layers of resistance. The resistance can be fierce or it can be subtle.

The moment you re-engage the magic sets to work again

Our job is to acknowledge and feel the resistance and lovingly bring ourselves to our work, to our-selves. Regularly. Often. With compassion. And then the magic happens. We begin to naturally seek out that which we have been resisting. And we remember how much we love it. Until we reach the next level of resistance. And then we acknowledge and feel the resistance and lovingly bring ourselves back to our work again. With compassion and with patience. Regularly. Often. With compassion. And then the magic happens all over again. In new ways. To greater depths. With more breath-taking results.

Your Stillness Muscle is a precious gift

Flexing your Stillness Muscle can bring you the joy of being in the present moment, developing a real presence of consciousness within your being, expanding your creativity, your intuitive abilities, your quality of life. It can bring you a deep sense of inner peace. And perhaps one of it’s greatest gifts is that it can help us come Home to ourselves- feeling home within ourselves means that our sense of security lives within us- not in our homes, with other people or our jobs – although these aspects of our life are important too- yet the peace and relaxation that comes when you feel truly HOME within you is immense. It means that you have a sense of safety no matter what is going on in your life.

So what does flexing your Stillness Muscle look and feel like for you?

How much time can you give to it each day?

 Will you create a special place of stillness where you are undisturbed and where silence can prevail?

Will you have music or the sound of silence?

How can you build Stillness into your everyday life?

At the beginning of your day?

At the end of your day?

In between the different segments of your day?

When you need to solve problems or find solutions to problems?

At the beginning of each meeting?

After putting your child to bed?

Whatever Your Way is, I wish you expansion in your Stillness.

 Email This Post

To experience the Stillness Method you can contact Moriah by email moriah@amahope.net or call on +44(0)1798 839200

Earth Log

The Lost Art of Stillness

What is it about our modern culture that we have no place for stillness? No place, no space, little appetite nor room for stillness. For some people it appears to be nothing less than a cardinal sin to be doing “nothing,” to have “time on our hands” and to be sitting still.

Maybe it’s because we remember our school days when stillness was a punishment or when our parents and other elders longed for us to be still and we got the conscious or unconscious message that being still was a punishment for our aliveness that others seemed not to be able to cope with?

Maybe it’s our obsession about tangible productivity and needing to have tangible results fast? The obsession with the Yang way of doing things and measuring things and valuing things in society.

I was good at being still even as a small child. I remember being the winner or runner up on many occasions whilst playing Sleeping Lions or Statues at parties. I’d win other games too but these two games required you to be very still, not to fidget and to be as silent as silent can be.

Perhaps it’s in my genes to be still! Is there a stillness gene I wonder?

If I had the talent as a young child to be still, I had lost it by adulthood. I lost it for quite a long time in fact. Probably 25 years of lost stillness.

I fell prey to the belief that I had to be productive to make a worthwhile contribution and that only tangible, hard, measurable deliverables were acceptable and desirable. Under these conditions there was no place for stillness. Stillness was totally unacceptable unless you were asleep.

Stillness only made itself felt when I would be forced into it. This tended to happen at least once a year, often at the beginning of my spring holiday off work when I would get a mystery virus that the doctors couldn’t diagnose but which left me utterly exhausted and I would need to spend several days in bed recuperating from. Enforced stillness. Not enjoyable, not desirable, especially when you are supposed to be on holiday having a good time.

So when did stillness become a pleasure for me? It was really only this year that I began to seek out stillness. It began as a knowing that I needed stillness. Then it became a longing. Now I was listening and now I was considering how best to meet my longing when it just happened one day that the longing took preference over the tangible to do list and I surrendered to my longing and sought a quiet space to sit down.

Now, I knew that I didn’t want to meditate yet I did know that I wanted to be still. And so I was still. For quite a long time really. I started with 10 to 15 minutes and within a week or so, I had managed a whole hour of gloriously blissful stillness. I managed to suspend all judgement about how unproductive it was and I surprised myself by immediately enjoying the experience and sinking into the feelings of surrender and peace that I was experiencing. And I discovered that I loved it. I loved being still. And so the beginnings of The Stillness Method were born within and through me. I kept coming back into stillness and as I did so, I began to get more and more insights into this new work.

Stillness, I discovered, is a lost art. It has been forgotten like so many great pieces of art. It is understated and undervalued in our society. It seems to have no place in our modern world. Yet, it may hold at least one golden key to help us thrive. And what is this golden key I hear you ask? Well, stillness puts us back in touch with our true nature, it gives us time to reflect and integrate our experiences and it begins to help us to know ourselves once again. For while we are busy running around with the tangible “stuff” of life, we run the risk of forgetting who we are, of losing our identity under a deluge of other people’s needs and expectations and we run the risk of wasting our precious energy.

In the stillness we recoup energy, we gain clarity and focus, we gain insight and intuitions and surely in this way we are being wisely productive.

So, Stillness is not about being asleep – it’s about being awake- wide awake and becoming more and more awake the more stillness we invite into our life. It helps us to become conscious human beings and connects us back to our true nature – who we really are when we strip away the layers of needs and expectations that we allow others to pile upon us.

So, I would like to challenge you to consider whether your doing activities and productivity are wise or whether it’s simply doing for doing’s sake?

How could you create just 10 minutes a day to dedicate to being still?

How could you introduce stillness in the workplace, at home, at play?

Go on, I dare you! Discover the lost art of stillness today and book a date with You!

I’d love to hear how you get on.

If you would like to know more about my work and the evolution of The Stillness Method please visit my website www.amahope.net

Earth Log

When nothing less than Gorgeous will do

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realise that the full life that you had thought you were living was not quite as “full” as you thought it was? That your experience of life was not quite as rich as you had been experiencing it?

The lid lifts, the veil shifts, the sun breaks through the cloud and all of a sudden you are left thinking that there is More, so much more. And we wonder to ourselves how we could have been settling for less?

I’m not talking more as in volume or quantity, rather it’s more in terms of quality of experience, beauty, compatibility, perfection- in a word – gorgeousness.  

This has been weaving its way into my reality and making itself known for the last few weeks now and I know without a shadow of a doubt that it’s because of the new work that I am developing and now beginning to sharing with others. I know this because it has all started to happen since I began sharing it.

Connecting with our True Self

I know this because I am now so much more intimately connected with who I truly am at my core, my true essence and now people and opportunities are showing up in my life which now match more closely with who I really am- and I am delighted and amazed and so grateful. Mini miracles are unfolding, cycles are completing and new people are appearing. I feel more whole and complete than I can ever remember feeling and my writing has begun to flow again.

It does what it says on the tin!

Partly this new vista is due to all of the inner work that I have been doing for years now coming to a completion but more than that, it’s The Stillness Method that I am crafting, incubating, nurturing and sharing. I have been working with the techniques for 3 months now and “it does what it says on the tin!” As you might imagine, The Stillness Method is about stillness however it’s about so much more than that. It’s about connecting within at a very deep level, it’s about aligning with your Destiny and it’s about Union within and without. And so much more.

So, how does this link to gorgeousness?

Well, I have a theory. When we are re-acquainted with our true nature- without all the conditioning and the expectations and projections that we and others hold about ourselves- then we begin to experience life differently.

We engage with our original blueprint for this lifetime, we begin to dream a more beautiful dream and we start to sense what is possible for us. The veil of illusion and separation lifts. The truth – more of our truth- is revealed.

When this happens we begin to realise how our perception of what is possible, conceivable, desirable begins to change. Things, situations that we may have tolerated or even enjoyed in the past can seem alien or just not what we want any more. We realise that the phrases “it’s fine,” or “it’ll do” or “that’s ok” just don’t cut it anymore. This has been happening within me and all around me.

Even with a pair of winter boots that I bought recently. I bought 1 pair and got them home and looked at them and thought “they’ll do” and yet I didn’t notice at the time that I felt flat. It was a matter of fact transaction, a practical decision. I rarely wear clothes because they’ll do and they’re practical. I usually buy something because I love it. Long story short, I took the boots back and the 2^nd pair of boots came home. These ones I realised weren’t quite as high as I had wanted them. I felt the “it’ll be ok” response and then something kicked in. “NO” they won’t do. They are going back. And they went back.

And 2 days later I found the perfect pair. Long, black suede boots with a collar so that they can cover my knees too if I choose. Gorgeous. Sumptuous and so comfortable to wear.

And this is the point. When I am wearing them I love how they look and I cannot feel where my boots stop and I start. They feel like an extension of me. They feel like they are me, like there is no difference between me and the boots.

No Edges

This is the point. I no longer feel any edges- well not for a few weeks at least- I no longer feel the gap between my true self and the self I live with on a daily basis. I am Me. I am Home. At last. And the Stillness Method gives me a deeper and more expansive experience of Home each time I work with it. Gorgeous.

Ease abounds & Things fall into Place

And there is more. I am present, grounded and connected like I have never been present, grounded and connected before. Things just fall into place. Wonderful like-frequency people are showing up. True sharing of gifts and talents is happening. Ease abounds. Joy is returning. Love feels deeper. Hope is present. The past is the past. The future is the future. And I am loving being Present. Gorgeous again. Magic. Gorgeous. Even gorgeous food and gorgeous smoothies- I have never been one to spend hours in the kitchen- far from it! Yet, I am wanting to buy and cook gorgeous food and make gorgeous smoothies. More evidence of connection and passion and Life.

Disconnection = numbness = less than gorgeous experience & settling for less

My theory? We experience disconnection and separation in many, many ways. Including disconnection from our true self, our essence and from our life force. With this disconnection comes a certain numbness which means we are potentially disconnected from what it is to feel true joy, elation, bliss, union and peace. At a certain points in our growth we re-connect more closely and fully with our true essence and then we experience a renewed and enhanced knowing of who we are and what we want. And when we connect with The Still Point within us- everything else that isn’t truly us just falls away, it can no longer “stick” and we become truly magnetic. We embody and radiate Presence. I’m talking about The Presence of our true self- our soul self. And that – is truly gorgeous.

I wish you Connection, Presence and Much Gorgeousness.

How connected do you feel?

In what situations do you settle for what is just “ok?”

How could you get yourself more connected and in your flow?

www.amahope.net

Earth Log

Pleasure & Pain- Real or Illusion?

Well, what a mad time this feels right now. Highs and lows in equal measure and with what feels like equal intensity. But is it all just an illusion? Is it real? Or is it just a matter of perspective?

Savouring the Magic

Let me expand a little. Following on from my last post, I delivered the Talk on the Magic of Presence and it flowed well, encouraging feedback was received and several people experienced significant shifts and insights. I felt a mix of relief, joy, encouragement, excitement & exhilaration.  I knew that the birthing of my new work had begun. I was on a high and determined to enjoy it fully given the anxiety I had felt during the week leading up to the talk. So, I did just that. I savoured the moment. And I felt oh so grateful.

Testing times

The day after I returned home, I was driving along a dual carriageway when my clutch failed and I lost power. Having got over to the verge at the side of the road I called for help. Help came eventually however it took 6 hours before my car was picked up and I began my journey home. I stayed very centred within myself even though my mind insisted on working out how much this might cost and how long it would take to fix. I very calmly kept returning to Stillness within myself and centredness. This is part of the new work that I am birthing and it calmed me right down to the point of completely letting go of the worry and frustration that had initially been present. It worked. The process that I am birthing worked. And it worked once again under what would normally be a challenging situation. More insight and a little more internal celebration. And again I felt grateful for the opportunity to “test out” my new techniques.

Realising that I’m right on track

This week I was interviewed for a local radio show in Manchester and I had the inkling to go pull up some of the poems that I wrote 8 years ago in case I wanted to read them aloud as part of the interview. Well, the first one that I found on file made me laugh out loud and brought tears of joy and amazement to my eyes. The poem is called From the Silence, Wisdom is born. The words that followed match completely the work that I am now doing. The new work being born through me is all about the wisdom, and alignment to our true self that Stillness brings. I knew this to be true when I wrote the poem in November 2002 however what I didn’t know at the time was how to achieve this. Now, my new work involves some very specific techniques that are teaching me and others exactly how to go within and find the answers. I was in awe of the pure perfection of that moment and the synchronicity involved. And I was grateful.

Feeling the perfection of our Design

In that moment I absolutely knew that there is a plan, what I call a Design for our life here on earth. I felt the coming together of years of personal development work and other work projects and practical steps taken, all coming together into one beautiful golden thread within me. All parts of me and my path now merging into Oneness. This was more than pure pleasure. It felt miraculous to me. And still does, even though what happened this morning temporarily brought a big black cloud.

The “Financial Whammy”

Today’s “low.” This morning I was told that the estimate for my car’s repair had increased from £700 to £1300. Now, it’s a 7 year old second hand car and so sums need to be made to discover whether it’s worth repairing or part exchanging and then investigations made about how to fund buying another car. Now, when I write about this, it’s very matter of fact. When I took the call, the emotional impact was one of overwhelm and almost despair, knowing that I expect an accountant’s bill imminently as well as a tax bill to pay. This definitely felt painful. It felt particularly difficult as I had taken August off from working with clients to spend time with my teenage sons and to give space for the new work to emerge and make itself known and being self- employed, my income fell. This was known and ok until this morning when I heard how much it was going to cost to fix the car. It took a while to get perspective and 2 hours later I am just seeing the gift and feeling gratitude.

So, pleasure and pain – simply a matter of perspective?

And this brings me to my original ponderings over are pain and pleasure “real” as such or are they illusions? What makes something pleasurable or painful? Is it about how desirable we find the experience? Or is it our emotional attachment to feelings and experiences in our life that have us respond or react the way that we do? In my case, could it be that I am still more attached to needing money and being dependent on money than I had thought? If this is so, then it would take a large figure to show me just how attached and dependent I still am. Is there still a part of me that feels hopeless in this kind of situation- a bit of a victim in which things are “done to me” and I have no control? Possibly. Is it because I was feeling tired and overwhelmed with a long “to do” list? Definitely. The financial whammy came at a time when I was feeling vulnerable and so the impact of the situation would ensure that it reached me at a deep level.  And it has. And emotions that had been suppressed were able to be accessed and released and I felt oh so much better as a result. And now, with this insight and this emotional shift, I feel grateful.  I can now choose to respond rather than react. And I learn again the lesson of not needing to be in control and not needing to know how a situation will resolve itself.

When Stillness restores well -being and allows wisdom to be heard, felt and known

And now as I centre myself, I can see various reasons why it might be a good time to change my car even though it is not immediately obvious how I would fund it. And the emotional sting has dissipated and I have moved into a more neutral place of allowing where I’m not feeling the pain but I am feeling the pleasure of not feeling the pain! And as I move deeper into Stillness I allow the whirlpool of emotions to settle and I allow myself to move into a more deeply held resourceful state. And I breathe. And I wait for clarity.             

It seems to me that the Truth is  …it’s how we judge what happens to us as “good” or “bad” and our social conditioning that creates the perceived pleasure or pain. It’s also about how we respond.  Perhaps it’s how we reach a place of being able to choose how we respond…for me I now know that this comes through my Stillness Practice where I can simply access me as consciousness. From that place of stillness I feel so much more resourceful and I know that I get the clarity about what to do next, even if the “do next” is – do nothing!

And so I am off into Stillness now and I wish you a resourceful, hope –filled week.

www.amahope.net      www.amahope.net/earthlog  
You can listen to Moriah’s interview
Fri 24^th Sept 12-2pm or Sun 26^th Sept 4-6pm by following this link; www.northmanchesterfm.org
and
Moriah is also being interviewed by Debra Brown of Mastery Path Connections on Mind Body Spirit Radio on 4.10.10 9-10pm http://www.mindbodyspiritradio.net 
Moriah is running a workshop on Developing the Magic of Presence in Manchester on 10.10.10. Please visit her website for more info: http://www.amahope.net

Earth Log

The Alchemy of Loving Stillness

Hi there. I originally wrote this blog post to help my dear friend Pauline who is preparing for a house move this week. Her regular blog is called The Pleasure Report. I’d like to share my “guest blog” with you.

Isn’t it ironic that the very week I have offered to “guest blog” on the subject of Pleasure, I have a week for the first time in ages that feels more about pain than pleasure. And more than that, I have had my focus on all that I am grateful for, the pleasure and yet the pain is the very thing that has prevailed. Pleasure seems to have completely evaded me at times and the pain has ruled this week. The pain has been “louder” than the pleasure. And yet, when I shifted my perspective a little, for it is just a little, then I began to acknowledge the pleasure that was also present within the pain. Like a plait of bread, the weaving of braided hair, the pleasure was there to be found. I just couldn’t always feel it. Pleasure and pain seem to have been co-existing one with the other.

When anticipated pain becomes “real” through anxiety

Let me expand. I am about to lead an event next week. It’s a great opportunity for me in so many ways. And despite that, ancient fears of presenting and giving talks have emerged like a spectre from the bottom of a very deep lake. Now, I am not new to giving talks. I spent 10 years in management training and consultancy and more recently have taught too. So what’s the difference now? I haven’t done it for 2 years, it is on a subject which I have been developing, with concepts and techniques that I have only used on me so far and a handful of eager clients. I am at the same time going through a deep transformation of very ancient “stuff.” The effect of this transition has been an unnerving cocktail of anxiety, palpitations, lack of focus and at times, sheer fear & tears. And there is only a week to go before I facilitate this event. And I am still not clear what I am going to say or how I will structure the evening. Aghh. Not comfortable for me. Not comfortable at all.

When pain transforms into pleasure- it’s all a matter of perspective
So where is the pleasure in this you might ask? Well, after allowing the anxiety to pretty much “paralyse” me preventing me for 3 days from focussing and making progress in the planning of my talk I remembered that I am endlessly resourceful and that I could in fact use the new techniques that I am developing. Funny that. Took me a little while to work that one out but I hope that I have now integrated that gem of learning! So I sat down, settled myself into stillness and began to use my newly formed, embryonic techniques and it worked!  It brought me back into peace, and even more than that it gave me more intuitive insights into what to do next week for the event itself. And where is the Pleasure? Well, now I know that it works even in the hardest, most emotionally challenging of situations. If I hadn’t got to crescendo in the anxiety stakes then I would never have experienced this awareness. And for that awareness I am very grateful.  So the pleasure is once more woven into the pain. It never ceases to amaze me just how perfectly the Universe works to support us in our growth.

And what is the irony and cosmic joke of this experience? I am going to be facilitating an evening of Stillness and Silence called the “Magic of Presence” and so the only thing I need to do is Be Present. No need to do anything. In fact, the more simple the structure of the evening is the better. Ha ha! Cosmic joke indeed. The pleasure and the pain of this week is inextricably linked to the new processes and techniques that I am developing. Of course they would be. In the loudness of the pain I had forgotten this.

Holding myself through the “pain” until it shifts & trusting that it will shift

I’m also learning to acknowledge the anxiety within my body & the emotions that accompany it and to hold myself through it, not suppressing it, not running away from it but meeting and greeting it, trusting that at some point it will dissipate and renewed strength will emerge. For this is the nature of all feelings.

Feelings are simply Energy in Motion = E-MOTION

Just that. Feelings are simply Energy in Motion = e-motion. They come and go, they simply need to be acknowledged, felt, given space and allowed and then they move on and a new space opens up. I also know that it is ultimately a great thing that this situation has enabled these feelings to emerge as I know that ultimately, once these fears have transformed, I will have bags more energy and confidence. I trust the process. I trust my process. But I am still human and still feel the discomfort and anxiety.

Pleasure & Pain Co-exist, interwoven like a beautiful tapestry of feelings and colour

So, the pleasure and the pain are interwoven. Some days the anxiety is right up there on the Richter Scale. Other times it lingers and the pleasure and joy is present in abundance.

Compassionate Understanding – when Love transforms the Pain

Another example from this week was my frustration in not making it to London to hear a  talk on Consciousness. Great anticipation. Everything in place. An evening out. A chance to meet new, like minded people. Then as I drove to the station, I heard on the radio that a tube strike is about to hit London. Aghh! Disappointment & frustration reigned supreme. The ticket master was well informed and very compassionate meeting me with empathy and offered me a refund on my parking charge. I appreciated his compassion and accepted thanking him for his kindness. The Pain and the Pleasure woven together into a rich tapestry of feelings. Somehow the pain felt louder than the gratitude. Even after calling Pauline and being really “heard” by her with love and compassionate understanding, the pain still felt louder than the pleasure, although I could feel that it was changing. It was all about to shift and change again.

When I got home my teenage sons greeted me at the door with surprise and my eldest son gave me the most gorgeous, warm, loving hug and asked me how he could help whilst the youngest suggested I put my feet up whilst he made me a cup of tea and asked me would I like him to cook tea anyway as planned? Well, in that moment, all pain evaporated and I was immersed in compassion and love. Wow, that was the most beautiful of surprises. And I cried. And the tears were born from a cocktail of the remaining frustration and the sheer joy of their ability to empathise, their love and a willingness to meet my needs. And they were ok with me crying. And the crying turned into laughter, smiles and a group hug. And I felt so much lighter. And I felt understood. And I felt “met.” And suddenly the world was a more hopeful place.

And so completed a Turbo –charged Week of Emotion. But you know, even though I remember it all vividly and as much as I wouldn’t particularly want to experience this kind of week every week, it has been an extraordinarily transformative week. 

Pleasure + Pain = Being FULLY Alive

I used to “flat-line” meaning that I was in the comfortable space of just getting through, living from my head not my heart, not feeling anything too deeply however in the process, not feeling fully alive.

This week has packed full of EMOTION. Energy- in -motion. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. It means that I am ALIVE. Fully ALIVE.

What’s your Pleasure?

What’s your Pain?

What is it that helps transform the pain within You transform into Pleasure? I’d love to hear from you.

I am running a one day event in Manchester on 10th October on the subject of “developing the magic of Presence.” If you would like to know more please visit my website www.amahope.net

I am being interviewed several times over the next few weeks and you can also find the details of these interviews on my website

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Earth Log

Vistas Old & New

Restless.  I feel rest-less. My sense is that I really need to rest and just be yet there is a part of me that doesn’t want to rest at all. It wants to crack on and make progress. And yet I am so tired and this is the one day for a whole month when my sons are out and I could do nothing.  No-thing. Yet I cannot seem to do just that: no-thing. A part of me feels an urge to do some-thing.

What is it within our society that keeps us moving at such a pace? Try harder. Be perfect. Hurry up. How many of us grow up with these tortuous drivers? How long does it take to shift them out of our psyche, our unconscious? I’ve been working at relaxing and transforming these for years yet they rear up every now and then. And when this happens, I talk to them. Well, they are a part of Me after all. I talk out loud.

“Hi there. How are you today?”

“We’re just fine” they answer.” Just fine. Looking good. Feeling good.”

Mmm. I can feel that. “The thing is, I want some time out for me and today I have the opportunity to do just that and then I notice that you are here and wanting to crack on when all I really want to do is rest. So, how are we going to resolve your need to be doing and my need and desire to be being?” This is when Superconscious Me steps in;

Resolution rests in Peace.

Resolution rests in Peace. When you have Peace within, you are able to do and be with effortless ease. Peace is not present when your inner state of Being does not support the outer act of Doing. Then there is a conflict and Peace cannot easily exist until the inner and the outer find resolution and come once more into harmony.

Wise words indeed. But how?

So, I talked out loud. What could I do that would be supportive of my need to Be and listen to my desire to make progress? What could I do that would bring me into a greater state of inner harmony and peace?

Paint.

The reply was to paint. Now painting the old picnic table in our garden has been on my mind for a few weeks. I was inspired by seeing a chair painted a particular shade of pale green with vibrant  red geraniums next to it as a colour contrast. I love that. I’ll replicate it. I bought the paint and it has sat in the garage for the last 2 weeks whilst it has poured with rain. Now, it is dry outside with a slight wind. Perfect conditions for painting. What is more, I always seem to get inspired when I paint. So painting it is. I’ll drop everything else off my mental and written to do list and paint.

So, I painted the top of the picnic table, loving the colour and then stopped, stood back to admire. And I was shocked. Mmm, this is very different. It changes everything in the garden. The pots and ornaments are all going to have to be re-organised, new homes will need to be found. Not least because two trees have also been removed from the garden. So the whole vista is open. The landscape feels so different. I began to mourn how it used to be. I could even feel myself longing for the familiar. It was at that point that I heard a voice in my head.

Super-Conscious Me makes an appearance and whispers words of wisdom

The voice in my head said; “Things have changed fundamentally and permanently and you cannot put back things the way they were. You will have to be prepared for the vista to be unknown, bare and “unfinished” until the new makes itself known and falls into place. And it will look and feel uncomfortable for while.”

Yes, I talk out loud to myself. I also hear a voice giving me answers. Wise words again. Superconscious Me had spoken. And of course I know that it makes sense. Superconscious Me is the me who is literally super-conscious, all-knowing, all embracing, multi-dimensional. We all have a Super-Conscious Self, it’s a question of fine tuning our wavelength to its wisdom, insights and gifts.

A “Light Bulb” moment.

Ah ha! I also know, that this is a lot more than me just living with a pale green picnic bench! Yeah, now I get it. I really understand. Thank you.

This is about how I have been fundamentally changing on the inside and how the external vista is in transition. Just like my garden. Just like my work. The unseen has not yet made itself seen. The unknown has not yet completely made itself known. And this leaves me “in limbo.” Just emerging from the void of not knowing yet not clear enough and nothing “solid” other than the consciousness and the knowing that rests within me. And as much as I would like to know what and how and when, no amount of doing is going to produce the answers.

Be-ing will bring the answers.

Even when people are asking me what I am going to be doing, what products do I have to sell, I have to be still and know that for the time being at least- I am the product and the service. I am the work of (he)art. And for now, this has to be enough. This may not be what others might expect. Yet, for the time being, there is no-thing else to take its place. And I know that pushing on and creating for the sake of creating will not hold the right energy, the right consciousness and it won’t be aligned to cosmic timing and so it would be a fruitless waste of my energy and wouldn’t serve anyone.

Waiting for the Unknown to make itself known

There it is. Bold as can be- a fruitless waste of my energy to push against my natural rhythm and flow. So, I surrender. So, I trust for a little longer. My pale green picnic table, my work and I will all find our groove in right timing.

Imposing old structures and ways of being and doing onto a new landscape is not only a waste of time and effort but is also risking the full emergence of the new that is waiting in potential to be born within and through me. This would not be a wise move for me to make this happen as I might have done in the past. This would not be living consciously. This would actually jeopardise all the inner journeying and transformation work that I have been doing in the last few years. Not a wise move.

Courage, Patience & Trust are the Keys

So, I hold the space open for the new to make itself known. And I wait. And I learn more about patience and more about courage and more about trusting myself and my process.

Now I had my explanation for why I was feeling so restless. I wanted to make a change and start shaping and designing my outer landscape but the timing isn’t yet ripe.

So, what am I remembering then?

I can’t force my creative process, it can only happen in right timing.

Spending time connecting, cultivating and being with my inner landscape brings results as much, if not more so, than making changes in my outer landscape, especially when things are so new, so different to how they were.

My outer landscape reflects my inner landscape.

Doing No-thing is Some-thing. Being is something. It may not look as though I’m doing something yet I am Be-ing therefore I am doing some-thing. The results may not always be immediately tangible however something usually does follow me having done no-thing.

And what am I acknowledging?

That sometimes it is more fruitful to sit with restlessness and move into stillness even in those moments when stillness doesn’t seem possible. P.S Note to me: when you next feel rest-less, do no-thing and be still. It works and is very productive on all levels.

When so much is changing/ has changed, trying to arrange things in the same way as before does not work. You have to wait for the inner landscape to become more stable, more tangible and then the outer landscape will naturally follow.

That doing and being are not mutually exclusive.  

That stillness and time to be requires patience, faith, persistence and dedication to perfect in the same way that yoga would. It’s about me flexing and developing my Stillness Muscle so that it becomes an effortless way of being for me and in this way my resistance will dissipate and my trust in the process and the tangible results will deepen.

That it’s time to completely reverse a lifetime’s way of doing. In the early years of my career I would need to be still because I had pushed myself and my body to its limit through long hours of working in a very demanding corporate environment. To be honest, I was pushed into stillness through mystery viruses that would arrive once or twice a year and knock me out so that I couldn’t work for   several weeks.

Now, I start with Stillness. Every Morning before I work, I have my Stillness Point Practice and from that place of inner stillness and connection I move out into the landscape of my work and create. Bliss. What a difference.

Peace at last.

And For You?

How often do you allow yourself to rest and just Be?

Are you trying to impose an old way of doing something or an old way of being into a space that is newly created and awaiting new clarity and definition?

What is wanting to be born through you right now?

How do you want your work day to be?

And Finally…….

Thank you for the great feedback I had following the last/ my first Blog. Much appreciated. Merci. I have been asked to follow up on the Blog too. And thus the And Finally part of the Blog is born.

Here is a selection of what has been happening since the last Earth Log.

I have been invited to talk at Mastery Path in Manchester on the Magic of Presence.
http://www.masterygym.org  Please see website for more details. Thank you Debra for inviting me.

I now have an opportunity to work with the new Still Point Technique & Meditation I’m developing within in a group setting.

An interview on Radio Manchester is in potential. Details will be posted on my website.
http://www.amahope.net

A very kind man has offered to help me navigate trademarking.

I have some suggestions to give me son to help with his photography as a direct result of the blog. Thank you Emma. Check out her photos they are beautiful. http://www.emmastackphotography.com

I have been in touch with a lovely guy who is going to work with me to record the Still Point work.

I found a long lost friend by talking out loud and following the answer. So happy to have her in my life again after 10 years.

I’d love to hear the results you get too….

Until next time, it’s au revoir from the Earth Log and I.

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Earth Log

17^th August 2010

First Edition: Start somewhere. Anywhere. Just Start.

Welcome. This is the first edition of Earth Log. As I begin writing I have no idea what the Earth Log is or will be, nor what it could do for me or others. All I do know is that I have a very clear feeling, a knowing in my body that it is time to begin. So here I am. Here it is. I’ve shown up. And that is the start. For sure.

Begin. Begin somewhere. It matters not where or how you begin as long as you begin. Continue reading →